What I think about my sons schools attendence policy.

So my oldest son Brandon, and my youngest Sophia, caught pneumonia , needles to say I took them to the doctor and he said they couldn't return for a week. So I kept them home, the school called me every day to let me know they were absent. (because apparently I didn't already know that) and finally when Monday came, and there 6 breathing treatments a day slowed to 2 I sent them back to school, with doctors notes in their back packs.

Can anyone guess what happened next? Well Ill tell you, so I put Sophia's in her folder that the teacher is supposed to go into once a week and I told her to tell her teacher it was there. She is four I figure she's going to forget but at least the teacher would be going threw  it and find it. Ya no, it didn't happen. I had actually sent an Epi pin kit and the note with Sophia in her back-pack the teacher didn't take it out.  Sophia comes home and sneaks her back pack in her room playing with the Epi pins, I have a conniption fit. I send a giant note attached to the color of Sophia's uniform shirt for the teacher, to retrieve the Epi pin and note. She comes home that night Epi pin is gone but note still there. GRRR. I accept that sometimes, teachers are overloaded with all the children in class and they cant be expected to know that they need to check one back pack,  but come Friday I can pretty much grantee that the dag um note is still going to be there.

So anyway Brandon's school took a different approach. Brandon brought the note directly to his first teacher, and asked to take it to the attendance office, she didn't let him. She took the note and said she'd handle it. Brandon was hesitant he didn't wasn't mommies wrath, but knew from detention earlier this week not to question his teacher. So a few days pass, Brandon's teacher has sent a note home saying that she has quit and that If the note is not found within three days of the absence that I will have the fine anyway. I flipped a bitch switch and by the end of our  conversation the women was saying yes mam, im so sorry mam. I like that's right. God Im terrible

Oh no you did n't, o yea I did this is about Face Book Yawl.

I have never been to a site that had the ability to make you want to get a divorce or a booty call on Saturday night. Seriously I think Face book has supernatural powers...it gets into the users head, and while it a great social tool its also the makings of a disaster.

I have seen so many of my friends, plaster so much personal information about them selves and just throw it out there for the world to see. Young girls showing half naked pictures of them selves seeking attention. Men who for one reason or another are bored in there life, decided to hit on women on line.

Seriously, its true. Here is a good example a few years back I was a newly wed, and our daughter Coura at age two decides to be a dare devil and jump belly down off the top bunk of her bed and smack straight down on her head. Needless to say I had to take her to the emergency room, and there was this male nurse, who helped and everything and was nice. Well, after she was transferred I get a message on my phone saying someone sent me a friend request. I ignored it until we got to children's after a four hour ride . So anyway this guy nurse, who is married I might add. Sends me a friend request with a very inappropriate message attached. I was pissed, number one my kid is hurt, number two im married, and number three he was married. what an ass. So...what did I do your wondering ...I forwarded the message to his wife. She thanked me and said shed handle it.

So anyway to my point. Face book is good if you use it to network, but not good when there's Horney fucks, cheating asses, and pre Madonna house wife's involved. So why do you still use it Steph? "well that's a good question random voice in my head, I don't have and don't want any drama. As everyone in the world knows I have a big family, and there's enough here for the days of our lives to be put to shame. So I beg you random people of the world please just use Facebook for what it was meant to be used for.

that is all...kirk out.

The gurdian an awesome Vamp book

The Guardian

A Courian night production

Volume 1

 

Stephanie Grogan

 

 

 

 

 

Published by Courian night press.

CO founders Paula S. Grogan and George F. Grogan

Illustrated by Paula S. Grogan

Edited by George F. Grogan

Courian night press: P.O. Box 2446, Jasper Texas 75951.

 

 

 

 

ISBN-13: 978-1492322344

ISBN-10: 1492322342

Copy right owner, Paula S. Grogan; 2014

Set in Jasper Texas,

Designed by Paula Grogan

 

 

Printed in the United States of America

 

Without limiting the rights in the copyright above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored, in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the  copy right owner and the above publisher of this book.

 

Publishers note:

These are works of fiction, Names, Characters, places and incidents are either a product of the writer’s imagination or are used fictitiously and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locals is entirely coincidental.

The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third party Web sites or their content.

The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the internet or via any other means without the express permission of the publisher in writing is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Your support of the author’s right is appreciated.

 

 

Acknowledgements

 

To my strong, patient, balanced husband, I love you. You keep me grounded and help me focus. Without you I would be lost.

To my children, I love your innocence, and your hearts I love you all so much.

To my God wherever you are thank you for my gifts, I am blest to know you Yahweh.

To my good friend Saundra King, thank you so much for your love and support I will be your sister always.

Steph

 

 

 

 

Chapter 1

 

Contrary to popular belief vampires are not the damned that they are portrayed to be in fictional stories. They were not evil from creation; in fact they were once angels. There was once a very unequal balance in heaven. Greed and jealousy tried to tilt the scale of Good to Evil. Cipher the leader of greed, was one of God’s most beloved angels. The angel fell from the lord’s graces when he was filled with jealousy and anger, because of the unending love God had shone his new creation humanity.

 

 God tried to help Cipher see the good in his creation but his anger blinded him. Cipher rallied the forces of other angels who felt jealous at the loss of their fathers love. When Cipher felt his army was big enough, he charged towards God his father. Cipher’s plan was to dethrone his creator, throw him from the heavens and take what he believed would be his rightful place as God of all. In Gods glory he flicked the very presence of Cipher and all the angels in heaven away from his glorious Kingdome.

 

Cipher was furious that he was sent to live with the very creation that he was most jealous of and hated passionately. To spite God and his punishment Cipher set out to maim, kill, and destroy all who the Lord held dear. Cipher set forth cursing the falling angels, making them hunt from the very beings they wanted to protect.  He sent the snake that tempted Eve, with the apple, and the whore who tempted the great kings. He, Cipher, was responsible for the very creation of evil on this earth.

 

The curse that Cipher placed on the fallen angels made them into something terrible. The angels, the once sovereign protectors, where not only forced from their creators presence but also from creations. From then on they were unable to spend their days with the children of Man, but forced to hunt them by night. Forever the angels where cursed unable to see the glory of the light of the son.  Some angels grew to envy the humans for the favor, and love that God bestowed them. The angels with envy and hurt in their hearts grew dark in their ways and as evolution grew, so did their abilities. Those angels’ who still felt love for humanity did their best only to draw their food source from corrupted humans; who hunted and killed their own kind for the sheer pleasure of evil.

 

As an animal is given certain powers to trick or beguile its’ prey so where the vampires. One aspect to Ciphers Curse was the ability to reproduce.  And they did so often with the daughters of Eve. Killing their mothers’ in the process, or if not killing them then turning them later with their bite.

 

There were two way to ways to make a vampire, following the falling. The males could impregnate the daughters of Eve and make one with half the abilities of their kind and they could roam the earth during both day and night. The second being that the Vampires’ could bite a human, draining all of the blood from their bodies and then exchange their blood in return causing the human to turn into one  of their kind.

The Evil made many children of the night with the human women and the day walkers started to overfill the earth killing many in its wave. With the corruption of the falling and the corruption of mankind God decided to wipe out a good portion of them by sending a flood. The one the ancients speak of in Noah’s time.

God saw what Cipher had done. But his children just like Cipher, had the choice of free will, and for the most they chose Evil instead of the good inside them. So God, allowed Ciphers curse to last, as well as his rule and dominion over the earth.

But even in the Lord’s wrath God loved all his creations, and he decided to make a plan to reunite them all one day so that all of his creations could live together as one, once more.

He created our kind; the guardians after the angels fell. We look like humans because we once where. We were taken early from our lives being chosen to devote our lives to our fathers will. Like Man, we were molded, and transformed to not only look like man but to have some of the powers of our father.  We can both create and destroy, but only with the grace of God. If we choose to live our lives in evil as Cipher did we would be cursed and our powers limited.

Things have come into play I would never have expected.  I am now a thing that never before existed. But I’m ok with that. A trace of humanity has lingered within in me in hope that I would one day find the girl that would one day be my destiny.

With a war waging in the world a battle between Good and Evil the lands of earth had been separated and bodies of water placed between them. All land became marked by Evil, sin, and desperation. Murder and adultery ran rampant. Each human’s eye shown with devilish glare from the spirits they had within themselves. Without my father’s love all would have burned, just like in the time of Sodom and Gomorra.

In my time as a guardian I have killed many of Gods creations; but I have always done it for the greater good. I am the Marshal of this world; my job is to ensure that there is a semblance of good that exists until it is time for the Prophesy to be fulfilled. In all his glory and wisdom my father made a prophet witness what would soon come into play. And so went the Prophesy; the very one that would lead me to Coura, millennia’s later.

I knew she was the one since my father marked her as a child. I was ordered to come to Earth from our realm and watch over her. As the prophet had said, “she would one day have the gifts to change the world in a radical way.” But for now, she was just a girl that needed my protection until one day she can restore order to the World and Justice, Peace, and Unity can rain.

 

My name has changed many times over the centuries but in this form my name is Carlisle Pollard and I am a Guardian. I have been appointed by God my father to protect the humans from angels, demons, and werewolves alike. Usually I watch over my charges without direct interference in their lives. But with Coura everything changed. My orders where clear, watch her, protect her and above all keep her and her gifts a secret until the prophesied time  to reveal them.

 

Want to read more? Look for it on amazon in two days!!!

Love yall!

Steph

 

 

 

 

so do you want your colon cleansed?

The most embarrassing story ever. ....so I'm having stomach issues right and it hurts so bad I think I might die . So bad. Any way I end up at hospital with those bad. Pain and I do all thetestts and x rays and what not and I'm lying on the hospital bed and I'm hurting. The doctor comes in and says I'm sorry to tell you this mam but your full of shit. I'm like what???? Did a Dr. Just say shit. Yup he really did. And as he kept talking I tune out and picture Eddie Murphy in the nutty professor when there all farting at the table and the man says "do you need your colon cleansed?" All the big fat people farting. I don't. Care who you are. And no matter how much pain your in its pretty darn funny.:-)

grannys porn

So Granny asks me to help her erase the DVR for her she couldn't figure it out I said sure. I sit down on her couch and I go threw all the basic steps to get everything in order. Well there's a list of all what's been recorded i don't know why it shocked me but bit did when low am behold..four titles jump out at me and all have triple x rating i'm like omg..serously. I'm thinking to my self do I say anything ...like million things are going threw my head and my eye balls are like wide in shock. I was embaressed so I keep going showing her how To delete the shows. Then I sneak a peek at her ..she has the most stoic unemotional face I have ever seen shhes like nothing strange is going on all is. Well I'm the world. So anyway I give her the remote and ask her to delete  one so shell remember. Well she hits the wrong button and the TV flashes on porn and its starting from where it left off. I died right there! I'm serious I just busted out lauphing uncontrollably . She bounced  out of her recliner ran to TV and turned it off. All the while curaingg the remote controll. She turned. To me calmed herself to stoic unemotional face again and said well  thank you for showing. Me that. And led me out. I turn to her and now speechless point to the TV and have. My hand s out about  inches apart and them point to the TV she rollers her eyes at me and says  grow up. . I nod and walk out. Anyway so thats how I deleted porn for granny.    Note that this is not bio gram my just an adopted one.

cherry bombs

Tomatoes that are tiney like cherry tomatoes should it be given to my kids ever sgain' . OK so my morning stats up like every other I'm zombie mom walking to coffee pot- you know that mom...the one everyone turns around and halls but to avoid confrontations with said adult. So an way someone starts knocking on the front door its my father in law bringing over tomatoes for coura . I let him in..I get my coffee and go lay down..well I forget all about the dag um tomatoes. I wake up step it of bed ...under my previously clean foot is a smoshed tomato. I'm like great I walk a few more get and step on more tomatoes. I'm cuss in now..stupid dag um tomatoes ....bleep...yada yada ...so I get to the comode  I sit down and I look up at the sealing fan and on one of the edges of the fan is a half of a tomato holding on for dear life. So I get up get a bucket and tr to get it off the blade. I turn the fan off and as I'm waiting for it to stop my naked son runs into the bathroom hideing from coura who begun pelloting him with tomatoes I lose my balance and go forward getting sacked in the head by the flying tomatoes.  My lesson for today children and cherry tomatoes equal time bomb

bald beauty

So y'all the night before last my little Sophia decided to cut her own hair, it was too horrible, I had to go to the local Mias and by hair extensions and make my baby a wig.

so it all started when I left my teenagers in charge of the little ones, when me and my husband went next door to help our neighbor. Within thirty minutes all hell broke lose.

I walk in the door my kids are laughing and pointing under the table my three year old was under the table crying her little eyes out. My heart melted, I couldn't be angry with her, but the fact was she was partially bald. She got so close to the root in one section I thought she took the clippers to it.

There was no fixing it, I even tried to do a comb over, but it just wouldn't hide it. ( you know like those old bald guys who try to put a small sliver of hair to cover their ginormous heads) so..She looked like fester Adams, and then after that she looked like cousin it, from the Adams family. But eventually it turned to be pretty cute.

I felt terrible for having to put extensions in a child's hair so young, but I was mortified by the people in Wall Mart and I had to do something.

SO I got Sophia with me and Coura we are walking around wall mart and this lady see's Sophia and she goes ... O MY GOD ...What did you do that poor child's head? I'm like really, you think I did this? retard. Well I couldn't help being a smart ass she pissed me off.  Im like...Its the new style didn't you know, we poor people take weed whackers to the head to start a fashion statement. She's like well it looks trashy, like white trash actually.  I'm like are f***cking kidding me, how dare you call my child trashy, you stupid little ....and then Coura tugs on my shirt, she says  its ok mamma, don't let her get you mad, she's just mad cause she's fat and ugly, (then she points at her double chin )and there aint no fixing that. The lady I swear , her eyes where like bulging she hupphed and walked off. I should have scolded Coura but I just couldn't she was right, Seriously though she was a snooty ass. I was tempted to carry around clippers my self and buzz everyone's hair that gave my baby the stink eye. UGGG.

But any way I have to say Coura was right, some people are ugly, both on the inside and out. If it were not for Coura I probably would have decked the women, but instead I just ended up laughing at her. Needles to say Coura got an extra special treat that day.

In the end I learned not to underestimate my eight years keen ability to figure someone out. As well as not leaving kids for an extended period of time  with teenagers, (even though they are usually responsible) especially when there might be an opportunity to go bald. And always carry clippers in my bag, just in case I ever see that women again. lol.

So anyway I put extensions in her hair and now she looks like one of those American Girl dolls.
Too cute, but Im still worried, about how long it will take for her hair to grow back out.

bow wow yipie yo wippie ya where my dogs at?lol

Last night my beautiful Chloe came home, she is my dog. I  adopted her from the animal shelter a while back. I love her so much, she is my companion. Any who, She disappeared last week I was like devastated. Last night I was at work, sitting on the porch taking a break when  my  Chloe comes up. At first I didn't notice her, I was just staring out into the night.  I feel the wind stirred and I hear a very firm rouoph. I turn around and saw my Chloe, a lot rough for wear but still my Chloe. It made my night so much better my Chloe-Hoe came home.

SO anyway... when I get off at midnight my kids are still up, the house is a T- total mess and I decide that Chloe needs a bath, and a firm dose of spray flea medicine. But my awesomely wonderfully talkative brother agrees to do it, and he does, In the mean while I lay my over worked but in bed, with no sheets and no blanket I might add..(cause my three year old decided to pee pee on me while sleeping next me last night) any way.

 I drag my tired but to the closet pull out the bright read sleeping bag and settle in with my P.C. cast, Destined book, looking forward to reading the last chapter. When in a whirl wind of chaos bolts into my room, It seemed like my bedroom  was in slow motion , and I was that old dude, who always got sprayed by drool by the dog in the Beethoven movies, so anyway I see the bathroom door open, my brother the goober derp of the century; has unleashed terror. All I see is a big white blur as it runs and slides into my room, bouncing off the bed, then she hunches her back and shakes the water free from her fur going in every direction.  Mean while my brother Gregory, hunts down our little cha-weenie, Tink.

 I'm sitting up and trying to dry the cover of Destined, when another bolt flies into our room leaps onto the bed and dives it noes straight in my but well not my literal but the general area ,sort of but, (hee hee but) any she was Trying her hardest to climb inside my leopard pj pants. "OMG Tink's in my britches get her out!"( IT looked scary like when that alien climes out of that chest of that dead guy in that one movie, anyway) "she's in my pants Its in my pants!!!!" "Jesus George,  help!!!!!!!" I hollering, it was too funny. My husband was dying laughing. I felt like I was skin for some fuzy wiener length body snatcher and it was sooo not sexy like the Host. Out of the corner of my eye, I swore I saw Chloe smiling. ( a dog after my own heart), I was like aww, you little shit, I love you too.

 I pulled the sleeping bag off and Tink's little head was popped out of the leg of my pj's I tried to pull her out when she saw Gregory, squirt bottle in hand with flee medicine and she turned her long body around and climbed up my pants leg again, this time im squirming, jumping and hollering. Finally we manage to get her loose, and all settled down. My husband  falls asleep, and I turn on my side and start reading again, just when I think this night can't get anymore crazy, the rabbit that has been watching this whole ordeal happen, jumps up on the side of its cage and barks. like an honest to God bark. Im like.....ahhh shit! Im definitely losing it now.

 Dr. Freaking do little ain't got shit on me, I push tinker bell out of my britches, again, and over the giant wet mound that is Chloe, and I look at the black and white rabbit named angel, and I ask the damn animal, did you just bark?

AND I SWEAR TO YOUZ that animal all fuzzy and cute with its gigantimous ears barked again at me.

I nodded my head, turned and got in bed .... im sooo not thinking about this tonight.

"I'm skittles?!!!!im skittles!!!! Well you fixen to taste the rainbow!!!!!!!!!"

God I wish media lived with me. You know Tyler Perry's character the strong black lady with a kick but, "I don't give a hoot what ya got to say," attitude. I wish that so bad, so that she/he could climb through the phone and slap the crap out of the lady I have to talk to about insurance. UUUGG.

I don't know what is worse listing to the cheesy elevator music, or the aggravation of repeating my self ten times. They chick said my accent is to thick. Im Like really my accent? I from California, I live in Texas how the heck is my accent to thick...arg anyway.....it no worse then the first twenty minutes I had trying to spell my last name to the automatic phone service....I mean how hard is it to understand g-r-o-g-a-n. grrr.

Ok, so anyway back to Medea. God I wish you where here, and im not meaning the hamster version that my best friend's step daughter's ferrets named either. My kids are worse then ever, fighting so bad, this week we have lost one tooth, a lot of sleep and only trip to the doctor, so far so good right? WRONG. Brandon my eldest and shortest tempered child keeps fighting with Austin. When one gets something and the other doesn't like, the metaphorical shit really hits the fan and in more ways then one. My sweet and naïve good friend goes... " you know that nanny show when some one comes over and fixes your kids while your on TV and yattta yattta." im like no, what we need is a reenactment of media when the awesomely vivacious black lady picks up the spoiled brat that called her skittles, and said honey while your fixen to taste the rainbow. That's what I want lol. Well that and them greens. Anyway sadly Medea isn't here and I wake up to Hollering and fighting.


So I don't know what it is about summer  time but I woke up; grumpy as stuffing in a live chicken ass. Seriously I don't know why..(who would be with kids fighting at nine in the morning) . but I walk out the room my hair is like everywhere I mean a chea pet and that guy you know who im talking about the one that managed a wrestler ....ahhh poop...anyway I looked like I belonged on an episode of the walking dead. I swear to you my kids like ran from me, like when you turn a light on and all the roaches go into hiding kind of scared.

I walk into there room pulling the door open it looks like there eye balls are popping out, and I holler if yawl don't quit fighting ima make sure you taste the rainbow, in the deepest meanest way that I could, then I turned winking at Chris, the eighteen year old step in, yank his pillow from him and start the most outrageous pillow fight we have ever had. Pillows fighting , laughter poring, and just as I think this couldn't be any better someone farts and we all pass out dead.


I had two options today, be in a bad mood, and let it rub off on everybody, or be the Medea that I know is in me, and scare the heck out of my kids, while having fun.

thanks again I'll talk you tommara

afro ciricus , afro circus, i swear this is todays montra.

Ok for a mom is pulling out your hair the first thing you want to do every morning, right? Well I definitely consider it between, four young kids, a husband, and a summer full of crazy, lol. No really ok this is my family, I have my hubbie George, I have an 21 year old autistic asberburgers brother who lives with me, (Greg)  an eighteen year old junior who while technically isn't mine or my husbands somehow became a permanent live in, named Chris, and then my four kids, Brandon who's eight, Coura who is eight, Austin who is six, and Sophia who is three, and this is our crazy life.

So ok I live in a rent house, who doesn't in this economy right? No one can afford to buy or even keep up a property of our own, but now where looking for a new home and that is bringing ten kinds of crazy to the board.

so we are making repairs on the house where in now, trying to put it to the way it was when we moved in, cause with eight people, two dogs and a litter of cats, the clean  machine (mainly me) has been pretty much broke this summer. trying to juggle the responsibilities of being a stay at home mom. or well sort of. any way.

In the mean time, im fighting with my six year old who has a fascination with streaking, yes I said it, streaking, I will be in the house watching TV and my son will run from the bathroom pants around his ankles and running streaking and screaming running from one room to another. He gets a big kick out of it too God forgive me if I have any company, the last person( that we hadn't prepared for the strip tastic thing that is my son)  that came to our house was trick or treaters on Halloween last year,
its a usual Halloween;

 the door rings I open the door, and there's like six teenagers there asking for candy, as im handing it out to them I hear a Mrs. doubfire holler, I turn around and my son looks like that guy from jack ass you know the one who's stuff is always hanging out , anyway he's coming down the steps from the bathroom costume at his ankles and I hear the holler, and suddenly my two sons start singing hey baby baby, hey baby baby , while they moon the trick or treaters. and smack their tooshies, I was so mortified.

ok so anyway in addition to my jack ass want to be, performer, I have my brother, for those of you who don't know anyone with asburgers, it is a form of autism, but not so bad, and to awesome either, each case is as different as the next. my brother Greg, has like a super genius IQ but has a major social disorder. he's like the chatter box of the house he follows me around, looking for attention from me and then at the same time he's a recluse who doesn't like the company of others. he's fickle but he has a heart of gold.

today he's got this crazy thing its finales at Angelina college  and he cant find his shoes, he is searching everywhere, talking non stop as he does so, I glance over and I see yet another moon, and this time its my brothers, dear God why me?

my goal for today to not pull out my hair, and find shoes. if I can accomplish this , and hunting a new, house this should be a HOOT. Ill write back later, and let yawl know.

Stephanie Grogan, semi mindless , afro circus loving mom from jasper Texas