cherry bombs

Tomatoes that are tiney like cherry tomatoes should it be given to my kids ever sgain' . OK so my morning stats up like every other I'm zombie mom walking to coffee pot- you know that mom...the one everyone turns around and halls but to avoid confrontations with said adult. So an way someone starts knocking on the front door its my father in law bringing over tomatoes for coura . I let him in..I get my coffee and go lay down..well I forget all about the dag um tomatoes. I wake up step it of bed ...under my previously clean foot is a smoshed tomato. I'm like great I walk a few more get and step on more tomatoes. I'm cuss in now..stupid dag um tomatoes ....bleep...yada yada ...so I get to the comode  I sit down and I look up at the sealing fan and on one of the edges of the fan is a half of a tomato holding on for dear life. So I get up get a bucket and tr to get it off the blade. I turn the fan off and as I'm waiting for it to stop my naked son runs into the bathroom hideing from coura who begun pelloting him with tomatoes I lose my balance and go forward getting sacked in the head by the flying tomatoes.  My lesson for today children and cherry tomatoes equal time bomb

bald beauty

So y'all the night before last my little Sophia decided to cut her own hair, it was too horrible, I had to go to the local Mias and by hair extensions and make my baby a wig.

so it all started when I left my teenagers in charge of the little ones, when me and my husband went next door to help our neighbor. Within thirty minutes all hell broke lose.

I walk in the door my kids are laughing and pointing under the table my three year old was under the table crying her little eyes out. My heart melted, I couldn't be angry with her, but the fact was she was partially bald. She got so close to the root in one section I thought she took the clippers to it.

There was no fixing it, I even tried to do a comb over, but it just wouldn't hide it. ( you know like those old bald guys who try to put a small sliver of hair to cover their ginormous heads) so..She looked like fester Adams, and then after that she looked like cousin it, from the Adams family. But eventually it turned to be pretty cute.

I felt terrible for having to put extensions in a child's hair so young, but I was mortified by the people in Wall Mart and I had to do something.

SO I got Sophia with me and Coura we are walking around wall mart and this lady see's Sophia and she goes ... O MY GOD ...What did you do that poor child's head? I'm like really, you think I did this? retard. Well I couldn't help being a smart ass she pissed me off.  Im like...Its the new style didn't you know, we poor people take weed whackers to the head to start a fashion statement. She's like well it looks trashy, like white trash actually.  I'm like are f***cking kidding me, how dare you call my child trashy, you stupid little ....and then Coura tugs on my shirt, she says  its ok mamma, don't let her get you mad, she's just mad cause she's fat and ugly, (then she points at her double chin )and there aint no fixing that. The lady I swear , her eyes where like bulging she hupphed and walked off. I should have scolded Coura but I just couldn't she was right, Seriously though she was a snooty ass. I was tempted to carry around clippers my self and buzz everyone's hair that gave my baby the stink eye. UGGG.

But any way I have to say Coura was right, some people are ugly, both on the inside and out. If it were not for Coura I probably would have decked the women, but instead I just ended up laughing at her. Needles to say Coura got an extra special treat that day.

In the end I learned not to underestimate my eight years keen ability to figure someone out. As well as not leaving kids for an extended period of time  with teenagers, (even though they are usually responsible) especially when there might be an opportunity to go bald. And always carry clippers in my bag, just in case I ever see that women again. lol.

So anyway I put extensions in her hair and now she looks like one of those American Girl dolls.
Too cute, but Im still worried, about how long it will take for her hair to grow back out.

bow wow yipie yo wippie ya where my dogs at?lol

Last night my beautiful Chloe came home, she is my dog. I  adopted her from the animal shelter a while back. I love her so much, she is my companion. Any who, She disappeared last week I was like devastated. Last night I was at work, sitting on the porch taking a break when  my  Chloe comes up. At first I didn't notice her, I was just staring out into the night.  I feel the wind stirred and I hear a very firm rouoph. I turn around and saw my Chloe, a lot rough for wear but still my Chloe. It made my night so much better my Chloe-Hoe came home.

SO anyway... when I get off at midnight my kids are still up, the house is a T- total mess and I decide that Chloe needs a bath, and a firm dose of spray flea medicine. But my awesomely wonderfully talkative brother agrees to do it, and he does, In the mean while I lay my over worked but in bed, with no sheets and no blanket I might add..(cause my three year old decided to pee pee on me while sleeping next me last night) any way.

 I drag my tired but to the closet pull out the bright read sleeping bag and settle in with my P.C. cast, Destined book, looking forward to reading the last chapter. When in a whirl wind of chaos bolts into my room, It seemed like my bedroom  was in slow motion , and I was that old dude, who always got sprayed by drool by the dog in the Beethoven movies, so anyway I see the bathroom door open, my brother the goober derp of the century; has unleashed terror. All I see is a big white blur as it runs and slides into my room, bouncing off the bed, then she hunches her back and shakes the water free from her fur going in every direction.  Mean while my brother Gregory, hunts down our little cha-weenie, Tink.

 I'm sitting up and trying to dry the cover of Destined, when another bolt flies into our room leaps onto the bed and dives it noes straight in my but well not my literal but the general area ,sort of but, (hee hee but) any she was Trying her hardest to climb inside my leopard pj pants. "OMG Tink's in my britches get her out!"( IT looked scary like when that alien climes out of that chest of that dead guy in that one movie, anyway) "she's in my pants Its in my pants!!!!" "Jesus George,  help!!!!!!!" I hollering, it was too funny. My husband was dying laughing. I felt like I was skin for some fuzy wiener length body snatcher and it was sooo not sexy like the Host. Out of the corner of my eye, I swore I saw Chloe smiling. ( a dog after my own heart), I was like aww, you little shit, I love you too.

 I pulled the sleeping bag off and Tink's little head was popped out of the leg of my pj's I tried to pull her out when she saw Gregory, squirt bottle in hand with flee medicine and she turned her long body around and climbed up my pants leg again, this time im squirming, jumping and hollering. Finally we manage to get her loose, and all settled down. My husband  falls asleep, and I turn on my side and start reading again, just when I think this night can't get anymore crazy, the rabbit that has been watching this whole ordeal happen, jumps up on the side of its cage and barks. like an honest to God bark. Im like.....ahhh shit! Im definitely losing it now.

 Dr. Freaking do little ain't got shit on me, I push tinker bell out of my britches, again, and over the giant wet mound that is Chloe, and I look at the black and white rabbit named angel, and I ask the damn animal, did you just bark?

AND I SWEAR TO YOUZ that animal all fuzzy and cute with its gigantimous ears barked again at me.

I nodded my head, turned and got in bed .... im sooo not thinking about this tonight.

"I'm skittles?!!!!im skittles!!!! Well you fixen to taste the rainbow!!!!!!!!!"

God I wish media lived with me. You know Tyler Perry's character the strong black lady with a kick but, "I don't give a hoot what ya got to say," attitude. I wish that so bad, so that she/he could climb through the phone and slap the crap out of the lady I have to talk to about insurance. UUUGG.

I don't know what is worse listing to the cheesy elevator music, or the aggravation of repeating my self ten times. They chick said my accent is to thick. Im Like really my accent? I from California, I live in Texas how the heck is my accent to thick...arg anyway.....it no worse then the first twenty minutes I had trying to spell my last name to the automatic phone service....I mean how hard is it to understand g-r-o-g-a-n. grrr.

Ok, so anyway back to Medea. God I wish you where here, and im not meaning the hamster version that my best friend's step daughter's ferrets named either. My kids are worse then ever, fighting so bad, this week we have lost one tooth, a lot of sleep and only trip to the doctor, so far so good right? WRONG. Brandon my eldest and shortest tempered child keeps fighting with Austin. When one gets something and the other doesn't like, the metaphorical shit really hits the fan and in more ways then one. My sweet and naïve good friend goes... " you know that nanny show when some one comes over and fixes your kids while your on TV and yattta yattta." im like no, what we need is a reenactment of media when the awesomely vivacious black lady picks up the spoiled brat that called her skittles, and said honey while your fixen to taste the rainbow. That's what I want lol. Well that and them greens. Anyway sadly Medea isn't here and I wake up to Hollering and fighting.


So I don't know what it is about summer  time but I woke up; grumpy as stuffing in a live chicken ass. Seriously I don't know why..(who would be with kids fighting at nine in the morning) . but I walk out the room my hair is like everywhere I mean a chea pet and that guy you know who im talking about the one that managed a wrestler ....ahhh poop...anyway I looked like I belonged on an episode of the walking dead. I swear to you my kids like ran from me, like when you turn a light on and all the roaches go into hiding kind of scared.

I walk into there room pulling the door open it looks like there eye balls are popping out, and I holler if yawl don't quit fighting ima make sure you taste the rainbow, in the deepest meanest way that I could, then I turned winking at Chris, the eighteen year old step in, yank his pillow from him and start the most outrageous pillow fight we have ever had. Pillows fighting , laughter poring, and just as I think this couldn't be any better someone farts and we all pass out dead.


I had two options today, be in a bad mood, and let it rub off on everybody, or be the Medea that I know is in me, and scare the heck out of my kids, while having fun.

thanks again I'll talk you tommara

afro ciricus , afro circus, i swear this is todays montra.

Ok for a mom is pulling out your hair the first thing you want to do every morning, right? Well I definitely consider it between, four young kids, a husband, and a summer full of crazy, lol. No really ok this is my family, I have my hubbie George, I have an 21 year old autistic asberburgers brother who lives with me, (Greg)  an eighteen year old junior who while technically isn't mine or my husbands somehow became a permanent live in, named Chris, and then my four kids, Brandon who's eight, Coura who is eight, Austin who is six, and Sophia who is three, and this is our crazy life.

So ok I live in a rent house, who doesn't in this economy right? No one can afford to buy or even keep up a property of our own, but now where looking for a new home and that is bringing ten kinds of crazy to the board.

so we are making repairs on the house where in now, trying to put it to the way it was when we moved in, cause with eight people, two dogs and a litter of cats, the clean  machine (mainly me) has been pretty much broke this summer. trying to juggle the responsibilities of being a stay at home mom. or well sort of. any way.

In the mean time, im fighting with my six year old who has a fascination with streaking, yes I said it, streaking, I will be in the house watching TV and my son will run from the bathroom pants around his ankles and running streaking and screaming running from one room to another. He gets a big kick out of it too God forgive me if I have any company, the last person( that we hadn't prepared for the strip tastic thing that is my son)  that came to our house was trick or treaters on Halloween last year,
its a usual Halloween;

 the door rings I open the door, and there's like six teenagers there asking for candy, as im handing it out to them I hear a Mrs. doubfire holler, I turn around and my son looks like that guy from jack ass you know the one who's stuff is always hanging out , anyway he's coming down the steps from the bathroom costume at his ankles and I hear the holler, and suddenly my two sons start singing hey baby baby, hey baby baby , while they moon the trick or treaters. and smack their tooshies, I was so mortified.

ok so anyway in addition to my jack ass want to be, performer, I have my brother, for those of you who don't know anyone with asburgers, it is a form of autism, but not so bad, and to awesome either, each case is as different as the next. my brother Greg, has like a super genius IQ but has a major social disorder. he's like the chatter box of the house he follows me around, looking for attention from me and then at the same time he's a recluse who doesn't like the company of others. he's fickle but he has a heart of gold.

today he's got this crazy thing its finales at Angelina college  and he cant find his shoes, he is searching everywhere, talking non stop as he does so, I glance over and I see yet another moon, and this time its my brothers, dear God why me?

my goal for today to not pull out my hair, and find shoes. if I can accomplish this , and hunting a new, house this should be a HOOT. Ill write back later, and let yawl know.

Stephanie Grogan, semi mindless , afro circus loving mom from jasper Texas