so do you want your colon cleansed?

The most embarrassing story ever. ....so I'm having stomach issues right and it hurts so bad I think I might die . So bad. Any way I end up at hospital with those bad. Pain and I do all thetestts and x rays and what not and I'm lying on the hospital bed and I'm hurting. The doctor comes in and says I'm sorry to tell you this mam but your full of shit. I'm like what???? Did a Dr. Just say shit. Yup he really did. And as he kept talking I tune out and picture Eddie Murphy in the nutty professor when there all farting at the table and the man says "do you need your colon cleansed?" All the big fat people farting. I don't. Care who you are. And no matter how much pain your in its pretty darn funny.:-)

grannys porn

So Granny asks me to help her erase the DVR for her she couldn't figure it out I said sure. I sit down on her couch and I go threw all the basic steps to get everything in order. Well there's a list of all what's been recorded i don't know why it shocked me but bit did when low am behold..four titles jump out at me and all have triple x rating i'm like omg..serously. I'm thinking to my self do I say anything ...like million things are going threw my head and my eye balls are like wide in shock. I was embaressed so I keep going showing her how To delete the shows. Then I sneak a peek at her ..she has the most stoic unemotional face I have ever seen shhes like nothing strange is going on all is. Well I'm the world. So anyway I give her the remote and ask her to delete  one so shell remember. Well she hits the wrong button and the TV flashes on porn and its starting from where it left off. I died right there! I'm serious I just busted out lauphing uncontrollably . She bounced  out of her recliner ran to TV and turned it off. All the while curaingg the remote controll. She turned. To me calmed herself to stoic unemotional face again and said well  thank you for showing. Me that. And led me out. I turn to her and now speechless point to the TV and have. My hand s out about  inches apart and them point to the TV she rollers her eyes at me and says  grow up. . I nod and walk out. Anyway so thats how I deleted porn for granny.    Note that this is not bio gram my just an adopted one.